Brock's Handy Pokemon Guide
by Ringtailer720
Summary: Brock writes a guide on taking care of your pokemon, using our heroes as examples. Part 15: Karma pays back Officer Jenny in her attempt to housetrain a Growlithe.
1. Part 1: The Bath

I do not own Pokemon; only a few games. This is the guide to pokemon, with snippets from Brock (in italics).

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How To Give A Pokemon A Bath, and other tips to raising Pokemon. Written by Brock Stone. 

_It was a bright and sunny day in Pallet Town. It was also the day when I decided to write this book, to help all of the trainers out there with handy tips on pokemon care. You see, it all started when..._

"Ash Ketchum! I don't want Pikachu in this house until he gets a bath!" Mrs. Ketchum shouted, just before Ash and Pikachu were able to run across the hardwood floor to the living room. She had caught them off-guard, with her back still to them. She was washing the breakfast dishes.

"But Mom, I don't see why he needs one. He's clean."

_Maybe our definition of clean was different from Ash's. Pikachu was filthy, coated in a fine layer of dust and grime. Dried mud was caked between the toes on Pikachu's hind feet, and burrs clung to his tail and his fur._

"No butts, Mister! He's filthy!" Mrs. K continued to wash the dishes.

"But-" Ash's mom whirled around, mini fires dancing in her brown eyes. Soap dripped from her hands. "GIVE. HIM. A. BATH!" She growled slowly.

_It was quite surprising how fast her kind demeanor could change into one that could rival a Gyarados. So it was no surprise that her son chose the coward's way, opting to avoid a confrontation that would result in a loss. So Ash tracked down a large bucket, like ones that were once used with a washboard to wash clothing. And he also found a decent supply of washcloths and sponges. Now the only thing he needed was..._

"Mom? Where's the soap?" Ash rummaged through the cabinet that usually housed the pokemon bath soap. The only thing he managed to find was a bottle of fabric softener and car wax.

"It's in the cabinet under the sink." Mrs. Ketchum shouted up the stairs.

"It isn't here!"

_Now Pikachu, who rather hated baths, had hid the bottle of soap in a place where he was sure no one would be able to find. He sat on the side of the tub, a knowing look on his face, and watched as Mrs. Ketchum joined the search. They took out every single bottle and container in every single cabinet and they still couldn't find the soap._

"Now what do I do?" Ash asked hopefully. Mrs. Ketchum sighed, then handed him a bottle of her peach-scented shampoo. "I suppose you can use this for today.

Pikachu fell into the tub.

_Now step one was to track down all of the supplies. Step two was to prepare yourself for the bath. If your pokemon happens to be of the electric types, please hope that it is one who enjoys baths. Pikachu is no such pokemon. This type is quite dangerous, as electricity and water don't mix. Even wearing rubber boots and gloves will not help you. But it wouldn't hurt to be hopeful._

Ash stood in a pair of rubber boots, holding the bucket in his hands. The shampoo, a brush, a pair of rubber gloves, and washcloths sat inside like some odd gift basket assortment. He took these outside to the backyard, and then carried out a bucket of hot water and brought over the hose.

_Now we move on to step three, which is to track down your pokemon. If your pokemon is of the bath-loving variety, great. But as I've said before, Pikachu is not. As such, a pokemon like that will come up with clever hiding places._

"Pikachu?" Ash looked under the couch. Two glittering black eyes stared intently at him from the spot just out of reach. The electric mouse grinned, and waved cutely at Ash.

"Come on out, Pikachu." The Pokemon wouldn't budge.

_If your pokemon chooses to hide in a place that is just out of your reach, you will need a great amount of cunning to get it. One solution is to bribe the pokemon with something it likes or loves._

"Oh Pikachu..." Said Pokemon looked back at the bottle of ketchup in Ash's hands. "If you come out, I'll give you the entire bottle."

Pikachu slid out from under the couch, sitting in front of Ash. "Gotcha!"

The yellow pokemon zapped Ash with a thunderbolt, then grabbed the ketchup and dragged it back under the couch.

_And please, if your pokemon is an electric-type, do NOT remove your gloves/boots at any time, even when bribing it._

Pikachu was still eating the ketchup when it heard a noise. He turned to look at what it was. Ash had brought in the new vacuum cleaner, one that had high-powered suction action and a nice long plastic hose. Pikachu could see Ash grin at him before switching on the vacuum and sliding the tube towards him. The electric mouse's tail was sucked inside, and Pikachu was pulled out. Ash held Pikachu triumphantly above his head.

He didn't notice the pokemon zap the vacuum until it was too late. The machine exploded, covering everyone and everything in the room with dust and dirt. He stood dumfounded as Pikachu hopped to the floor and ran off.

_One other little tip before you continue. Don't gloat!_

Ash chased his pokemon throughout the house, and Pikachu knocked down as many objects as he could to trip his trainer up. Pikachu stopped at the top of the stairs and waited. Ash ran towards him, and dived. Hands outstretched, he went to grab the pokemon, only to find that Pikachu wasn't there.

And Pikachu watched as Ash fell down the stairs.

_Also, watch your step. Your pokemon is not an idiot._

Pikachu sat on the kitchen counter, and watched Ash walk in. His trainer had traded in his clothes for a caveman-like toga, and a large bandage was wrapped around his forehead. The trainer held a broom in his had.

"Ash smell Pikachu." Ash grunted, then noticed Pikachu sitting on the counter. He raised his broom, and the two were off again...

Pikachu couldn't believe that Ash had trapped him in a net, and used the broom handle to carry the bundle. Ash dumped the pokemon into the tub and began to massage the shampoo into the fur. He carefully removed the burrs, and finally rinsed Pikachu off. He finished by toweling the mouse off, and gave Pikachu some pokemon treats.

His mother arrived home from shopping not long after. "My! Isn't he clean!"

Ash beamed. "Yup! I'll say I did a pretty good job..." His mother entered the house, and screamed at the mess that greeted her. Mr. Mime stood frozen, a coating of dust dulling his colors. Random broken objects littered the floor, and small ketchup stains covered the floor. She turned around to face her son.

"I can explain..."

"ASSSSSSHHHHH!"

_Remember, pokemon have feelings too. Treat them gently during and after their baths to ease the following baths. Do not skimp on bribery; it is your friend. And don't forget to clean up after yourself, or you will face the wrath of your mother/guardian/landlord/etc._

(End)

Just a small chapter. It might take me a long time to update again because of school...


	2. Part 2: The Food

Wow. This is officially my most successful fic to date with seven reviews for one chapter. Thank you all so much! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Brock, Misty, Ash, or anyone/anything else mentioned in this fic.  
Please note: The following chapter contains an improper example of making soup, with all sorts of disgusting ingredients being added. Do not read this on a full stomach, just before eating, or if you have a weak stomach. I am also no cook; I burn water.

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How To Give A Pokemon A Bath, and other tips to raising Pokemon. Written by Brock Stone. 

Part II: Feeding.

_Aside from a bath, the most important thing a trainer can do to keep their pokemon happy and healthy is by providing a balanced diet. The meals must contain reasonable amounts of Carbos, Iron, Calcium, Protein, and some Zinc; all nutrients which pokemon need in order to battle, or to remain healthy in general. These can be purchased at department stores as supplementary drinks; yet not everyone can live near enough to such a store, nor can everyone afford to buy these for meals. Therefore, the most effective way of giving them to pokemon is through food...the right kind._

Pikachu sat on the couch, eating potato chips while watching TV. He didn't know what was for dinner, and he really didn't want to eat it anyway. Especially since Ash was cooking. Pikachu kind of wanted to live.

"Pikachu, where are you?" Pikachu dropped a chip, eyes wide when he heard the singsong manner that Ash used. The yellow mouse pokemon grabbed the half-empty bag of chips and ran from the room, just before Ash entered. The young trainer donned a chef's hat, carrying a frying pan which contained a very singed foodstuff.

He spotted the chip on the couch. "Have you been eating chips before dinner again?"

_In order to avoid unwanted snacking in between meals, make sure to keep all snacks out of the house. Do not even buy them! I warn you of this because no matter where Ash hides the snacks, Pikachu always finds them._

Leaving behind the now-empty bag, Pikachu entered Ash's room. He sniffed along the wall, until he stopped and opened up a secret trap door containing Ash's Halloween candy. The mouse pokemon pulled out a bag of chocolate malt balls, resealed the door, and ran out of the room.

Pikachu did this a few times, then slowly snuck around the edge of the wall.

"There you are!" Ash picked up Pikachu, his hands protected by rubber gloves.

_First, you must get your pokemon to the table. If your pokemon is an electric type, it should be simple enough to use rubber gloves for this job._

Ash sat the squirming pokemon in the high chair, and used the tray to lock Pikachu in place. The electric mouse tried to push the tray away as Ash grabbed the frying pan full of...some food that was unrecognizable, and scraped it onto a plate.

"Okay Pikachu, time to dig in!" The pokemon didn't even sniff it, just knocked the plate onto the floor where it shattered.

_Another piece of advice: use plastic plates instead of glass for those difficult pokemon._

Ash looked as the pieces of glass sat among the broken shards of food. "Now I'll have to make something else..." The trainer pulled out another cooking utensil, a large pot this time, and set it on the stove. He poured water into it and turned on the stove.

Pikachu watched helplessly on as Ash began pulling out all sorts of food from the refrigerator and cupboards. Pikachu was sickened by the state of the vegetables removed from the fridge, all wilted and covered by fluff. The tomatoes that had disappeared from sight months ago, as well as some sort of meat, were set on the counter by the stove.

_A meal must be well balanced in order to give a pokemon all the necessary nutrients. A soup made with fresh vegetables and pasta is a very acceptable example. The water must be brought to a boil, then the pasta cooked until it is flexible yet still firm._

Ash dumped a box of alphabet soup noodles into the water, ignoring the fact that the water wasn't boiling and the pasta contained several shiny beetles. He added a few chunks of the mystery meat, and the mushy tomatoes, and stirred liberally. He splashed some of the liquid onto the stovetop, which sizzled and smelt.

_After the noodles are at the flexible yet firm state, add the vegetables. Stir occasionally to mix it up. You may wish to add other things to your soup, but make sure the taste is all right and the foods work in harmony with each other._

The trainer opened up a few unlabeled, rusty cans and dumped their contents into the pot. The mixture gave off a vile smell, yet Ash ignored this as he grabbed a bag of oyster crackers. He dumped the old, stale crackers into the soup and stirred. By now the water had finally come to a boil.

Ash picked up the pot and set the cold 'food' on the table.

_The soup is finished when the vegetables and the pasta are soft, and the entire thing has been cooked for roughly fifteen minutes. The soup is best served hot._

Ash ladled out the still-cold substance into a bowl and set it on the table in front of Pikachu. The pokemon turned slightly green as Ash watched him.

"Come on, Pikachu. Here, let me help you."

_If your pokemon is a picky eater, you may try the "plane, choo-choo, or boat" approach._

Ash took a spoonful of the soup and held it up. "Here comes the plane!" Moving the spoon around in the air, the young trainer made airplane noises as Pikachu watched on, mouth tightly closed. "It's coming in for a landing!"

Ash stopped the spoon in front of the yellow mouse pokemon's mouth, which was still tightly shut. He thought for a moment, then began moving the spoon around again, making train noises. "Here comes the train! Choo-Choo!"

Pikachu's mouth was still tightly sealed, and Ash thought again. The trainer moved the spoon around again. "Here comes the boat, ready to dock"  
This time, he poked the pokemon in the arm.

"Pikachu!" The electric pokemon zapped the trainer and the surrounding area. Ash, still wearing gloves, was protected, but the plastic tray on the chair was reduced to a melted blob. The pokemon used the confusion to run off into the living room.

"What's with him? There's nothing wrong with the soup." Ash said, and took a spoonful of his soup. Then he passed out.

_Another tip: Do not use the food if it is moldy, old, contains bugs, sits in an old rusted can, or is so old that you don't remember the last time you had it. Your pokemon is not dumb enough to eat it, and you will become violently sick if/when you accidentally eat it. Then your pokemon will have to fend for itself until someone shows up._

Pikachu hesitantly poked his head back into the kitchen, spotting the unconscious form of his trainer. Approaching Ash's body, he pulled out the trainer's wallet and ran to the phone in the living room. Two phone calls and fifteen minutes later, Pikachu was sitting on the couch eating pizza and the stolen candy while his trainer was being shipped to the hospital for food poisoning.

_If you are somebody who cannot cook to save their life, please do what Ash Ketchum did not. Order a pizza and avoid the dangers of food poisoning.  
_

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(End) 

Thank you so much for reading the second part of Brock's Handy Pokemon Guide, and thanks to the seven who reviewed last chapter!


	3. Part 2 point 5: Turkey Day Special

Thank you all so much for reading this fic! 

This is a minific inspired by one of my reviewers, asking for another pokemon giving Ash some problems. This one is short, not really as funny, and not really planned. Most of it focuses on Ash, but Charizard gives him some problems in places. I will write something more detailed later on, when I finish brainstorming and some of my Pikachu ideas are gone. You will not have to read this chapter, and can choose to skip over it.

Brock will return with more tips later on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.

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(Part II and a Half: Turkey Day Special) Written by Brock Stone. 

_I've decided to take a short intermission between pokemon tips, in order to recap an amusing anecdote, which I've acquired recently. I figured that it would fit in with Thanksgiving. See, Ash was busy getting ready for the meal..._

Ash nearly crashed into the bushes from the weight in his arms. He struggled to keep from falling, and kicked open the door with a muddy sneaker. He tripped into the house, dropping the giant frozen bird onto the table with a thud, and leaned against the wooden structure.

"Wow. That is one big bird!" The trainer's eyes settled upon the counter, where his mom had left the cookbook open to the correct page on preparing a turkey. He stepped over to it, picked it up, and began reading.

_Ash's mom had picked up the new book for people with problems cooking, inspired by his run-in with food poisoning, and hinted upon by Misty._

"A Moron's Guide to Thanksgiving Turkey, by Gob L. This looks simple. Step one: remove the turkey from the plastic wrapper."

Ash tried using his fingers to tear off the plastic label, then tried using his teeth. Finally it dawned on him to use a pair of scissors to cut the turkey out of the plastic.

_Let me re-stress the fact that Ash is not the smartest Wooper in the pond, so to speak. It takes at least five minutes for his brain to process things sometimes._

"Please note that the turkey should have been left out to thaw first. An absolute monkey would know that. Oh great." Ash looked at the huge bird that sat, still frozen, on the table. "Now what?" Ash's eyes drifted outside, where the children next door were holding a mock pokemon battle.

This gave Ash an idea.

"Charizard, I choose you!" Out in the backyard, Ash stood with the turkey skewered on a broom handle, while his pokemon yawned and stood up. "Hey buddy! Can I ask you to do me a little favor and defrost this turkey for me?"

Charizard looked at the speared bird with one eye, then considered Ash thoughtfully. This might mean a little turkey for him if he complied nicely.

But then...

BWOOSH!

...There was always the pleasure in setting his trainer on fire, along with defrosting the turkey.

"AGGGGGHHHHH!" The fire lizard's lips twitched upwards as he watched his trainer run around in circles, the bird held upwards, as the boy's clothes burned in the meantime. Charizard lay down on the ground and yawned. He enjoyed doing this.

_Ash still hadn't learned to not rely on his Charizard to do anything willingly. Misty suggested a hero-worshipping set-up, to encourage Charizard to be good for a change. That's as likely as stopping the rain._

Fifteen minutes later, the singed trainer entered the house and set his defrosted turkey on the table. He picked up the book again and moved on.

"Step two: Remove the guts from the inside of the turkey, and throw them out." The trainer looked down at the bird corpse, which seemingly mocked him with its stillness. He stuck a hand into its slightly cold depths, revolted by the squishy feeling. "You have got to be kidding me."

He threw handful after handful on the counter, and sighed with relief when it was completed. He had no intention of ever doing something like that ever again. Ash washed off his hands, dismayed when there was still stuff under his nails.

_Yes, Ash does hate to get stuff under his nails. He whines about it all the time._

He read the book again. "Mix together small, torn up pieces of bread, small celery pieces, small onion pieces, and turkey seasoning in a bowl."

Ash did this, much happier knowing that he wouldn't have to touch any more turkey innards. "Then put this mix inside the turkey. What!"

Ash glared at the bird. "I hope you're happy! I'm going to enjoy eating you." Then he stuffed the turkey.

_He's also slightly insane without his yearly Thanksgiving feast._

"Preheat the oven to the recommended temperature, and place the turkey in a pan. Then put the pan with the turkey inside the oven."

Ash walked over to the oven, and pressed the button that would signal the oven to turn on. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing. He looked over at the bird, stuffed and sitting in a pan, which was still mocking him.

"Don't think you've won yet, turkey." Ash glared. "I still intend to cook and eat you."

Then Ash got another idea. Sure, the last time he used Charizard, he ended up burned. But this time would be different.

Charizard was still lying in the backyard when Ash approached him. The giant lizard opened one eye when his trainer approached.

"Charizard, please, PLEASE, I'm begging you. Please cook the turkey with your Flamethrower so that it's done and cooked to perfection!" Ash groveled, something which he normally didn't do.

Charizard stood up, and blasted both the boy and the turkey with a nice long Flamethrower attack. Groveling and two chances to burn Ash to a crisp? The turkey god really outdid himself this time. Charizard watched with interest as the youth ran around his backyard, screaming as his clothes burned. The fire lizard picked up the fully cooked and nicely barbequed turkey and took a bite. Yep, he was the luckiest pokemon in the world at the moment.

_Ash had run for about a minute longer, before remembering the stop, drop, and roll thing recommended by the fire department. He had just put the fire out when his mom and Pikachu returned from shopping, only to find that the turkey had been eaten. Ash was grounded, and charged for another turkey._

(End)

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Thanks go to all the reviewers who have sent their feedback to this fic. If you take part in the yearly tradition, Happy Thanksgiving! If not...then Brock's tips will return in the next installment. 


	4. Part 3: Swimming Lessons

Once again, thanks go to all the reviewers! This one focuses on Misty, with two apperances by Ash. 

Disclaimer: I still don't own Pokemon.

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(Part III: Swimming Lessons) Written by Brock Stone.

_I'm going to take a break from the health tips for pokemon, and focus on a safety tip. Everyone knows that swimming lessons are necessary in order to prevent yourself from drowning, so I am going to tell you how to go about teaching your pokemon to swim. If your pokemon are mainly of the fire, rock, ground, or any type that is weak against water, this advice is not for you. It is best to get your pokemon in their pokeball until you get to dry land._

Misty carried the yellow duck pokemon to the side of the Olympic-sized swimming pool. The Psyduck held its head as the water trainer set it down and eased herself into the water. She submerged herself, then faced her pokemon.

"Okay, Psyduck. Since you haven't learned how yet, I'm going to show you how to swim."

The pokemon tilted its head to the side. "Psy?"

The redheaded trainer held on to the pokemon, and slowly put it in the water. She held on so the pokemon wouldn't start thrashing around.

_The first step is to get your pokemon used to the water. The best place for this is the standard swimming pool at any rec center or friendly neighbor's backyard. Also, your pokemon will be calmer if you get in the pool with it._

"Now Psyduck, I want you to kick your feet gently." Misty coaxed. The pokemon tilted its head. "Psy?"

Misty held the duck pokemon with one arm while she moved the Psyduck's foot with the other. "Like this, only with both feet." Psyduck moved the one foot slowly for a minute.

"Great! Now move the other one just like that!" The redhead smiled. And Ash said it was impossible to teach Psyduck anything.

After receiving a demonstration of what needed to be done, Psyduck was kicking its 'feet' at a nice, even pace. The redhead felt more confident.

_Begin by starting with the basics. This includes the kicking of the 'feet', and the arm movements._

Psyduck was now kicking its webbed feet at a reasonable pace, and Misty began moving on to the different types of strokes. Misty was halfway through with this when Ash floated by on his back. He splashed some water in the girl's face as he passed.

"Ash! What are you doing here?"

"Dunno, I just sorta walked in and started swimming." The black-haired boy commented lazily. "How's Psyduck? It drown yet?"

Misty growled. "I'll have you know that Psyduck has just learned how to move his arms and feet!" Ash went under the water, then popped up a little farther away.

"I'll just be over here while you continue." He said, then gestured for his pokemon to jump in as well.

_Teaching your pokemon to swim takes a lot of patience, and is best done in a calm atmosphere. This is beneficial for the pokemon, and is less taxing on the teacher's nerves._

Misty just managed to teach Psyduck how to move its arms and feet at the same time, after getting hit in the head with a beach ball for the eleventh time in ten minutes. She turned to glare at the group on the other side.

She spotted Tododile suddenly exit the pool and mumble something in pokemon speak to Ash. The boy paled and exited the pool quickly. He was followed by the other pokemon.

"Well Misty, it's about time we left. Thanks for letting us use your pool." The trainer paused. "And you might wanna do something about the water before you continue. Tododile left something I don't think you want."

"EEEEEWWWWWW!"

_Make sure your pokemon get enough potty breaks to ensure a sanitary pool for everyone._

Misty stood on the beach with her Psyduck, letting the sand slip through her toes. "Now let's try beach swimming out now that you know the basics." And, Misty thought, Since Ash's pokemon contaminated the pool.

She brought Psyduck out into the water and guided it while the pokemon swam. She decided it was time to teach him to go underwater.

"Now Psyduck. Let's practice holding our breath." The redhead demonstrated first, then had her pokemon do it. Psyduck had a little problem with knowing when to stop, but it was easily fixed.

_Teaching your pokemon not to be afraid if they should go below the surface of the water is a good idea._

Misty was now ready to teach Psyduck to duck under the water, when a familiar-sounding scream drowned out the cawing Wingulls.

"SHARK! There's a shark!"

Pandemonium ripped across the beach. People ran desperately from the water. The panicked sunbathers abandoned their towels and ran for the safety of their cars, while the food stand was looted and set on fire. Cars, trucks, and SUVs collided. Everyone ran around in circles, screaming.

Misty stood stunned as the IQs of the people around her dropped. Ash snickered in his hand behind her. "Look at what I did!"

She wheeled around, and only then did Ash realize his mistake: Never call out 'shark' on a beach when Misty Waterflower is teaching a pokemon how to swim.

_Psyduck nearly learned how to swim completely, Ash was left in a coma, and Coral Beach was closed for the rest of the summer. It all goes to show that even when doing things right, it only takes an idiot to ruin it._

(End)

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I wrote this chapter to give another character besides Ash a shot at 'teaching'. It was really hard to get moving on it though. 


	5. Part 4: Berry Picking

I am very sorry about the long wait. First it was the holidays, then it was a combination of school-related stress and writer's bock that made it difficult to write anything. I find it much easier and fun to pick on Ash, and easier when Pikachu is the pokemon of focus. I am sorry for anyone offended by last chapter's incident, and want to offer the biggest thanks to anyone still reading this. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.

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(Part IV: Berry Juice) Written by Brock Stone.

_As every trainer knows, there are a variety of health-replenishing liquids out there for pokemon. There are man-made ones like potion (do not, repeat, do not let your pokemon drink this! It is for external use only!), soda pop, lemonade, fresh water; and then there are all natural ones like Miltank milk and berry juice._

_While effective, the stronger potions can make your pokemon sick if they have a tendency to lick their fur. Soda pop is effective as well, yet it is not entirely healthy due to the high sugar content. The sugar in lemonade puts it at about the same level as soda pop, and "fresh" water is not fresh unless you actually get it directly at the source._

_Today we will discuss berry juice. It is false that one needs a Shuckle in order to make this healthy drink, as a quality juicer will do the trick._

Ash carried in the very heavy-looking box and dropped it carefully on top of the kitchen table. While he sat panting in one of the chairs, Pikachu skipped happily in, eating an ice cream cone. He watched as Ash took out the pieces and began assembling them, disregarding the instruction manual. A few times the trainer stood back to admire his work, only to have the parts fall back onto the table.

With chocolate smears around his lips, Pikachu began to point and laugh at Ash. The raven-haired trainer frowned and glared at the pokemon. "As if you're helping..."

_I must stress the fact that you actually have to read the instructions to put the juicer together...or at least have someone dictate them to you._

Finally, Ash managed to put together the extremely challenging puzzle known as a juicer. He sent Pikachu a triumphant smirk. "Told you I could do it." The yellow mouse pokemon merely nodded; he had just witnessed his trainer throw countless tools and tubes of superglue around the kitchen, and shout words which should never be repeated in public.

_Now once the juicer is assembled, one must have a collection of berries. As long as they're edible, they'll be great. The best kind are those that are freshly picked, but certain seasons will not allow berries to grow, and store-bought ones will suffice._

"What do you mean, 'sold out'!" Ash exclaimed at the last produce department in Pallet. The guy merely pointed at the sign again and continued with his own business. Ash picked up Pikachu and they both headed for home.

"Don't worry buddy, we'll just go pick some. Plus, they're free."

So after stopping off at the house to grab a few buckets, Ash headed out into the fields to begin his quest to pick all the berries he could find. He stopped at one bush, and had already started dropping berries into the bottom of a bucket when Pikachu sniffed at the berries on the bush. The mouse pokemon's eyes widened, and he began pulling on the trainer's sock. "Pikapi! Pi pipikachu!"

The trainer looked down at the pokemon. "Pikachu, I do know a thing or two about berries, and these are not poisonous."

"Pi pipikachu!"

"Are not!"

"Pika!"

"I'll show you they're not poisonous!" Ash reached into his bucket, and began to eat his collection. He swallowed. "See, they aren't..." Ash dropped his buckets and dashed into the nearby woods.

_Make sure that you know what kind of berries you are picking, and don't eat any berries that your pokemon tells you not to. Pokemon have been eating berries for ages. A handy guide to berries or an expert can tell you what is safe._

Once Ash had gotten rid of the leftover berries, he and Pikachu continued their search for berries. Once Ash had found a good bush (one which Pikachu insisted was good) he and his pokemon began picking every good-looking one they could find. The dark-haired trainer was so absorbed in his work, that he wandered a good distance away from his pokemon. It wasn't until he heard Pikachu calling him that he looked away.

"What do you mean, I'm standing in poison ivy!" In his haste to look down, Ash managed to trip, and fell face down in the horrible plant. Once he figured out that it was poison ivy he was laying in, he immediately got up and ran screaming from the spot. "It's on my face! It's on my face!"

_Please pay attention to where you are walking, as poison ivy tends to grow near certain berry bushes. Wear long pants and socks, and take a shower after you return home._

The trainer had soaked himself and his clothing in the pond nearby before he returned to picking berries. It was another kind, thimbleberry, and Ash had filled up half a bucket before something caused him to pause. It was and unusual sound, a sort of dull hum that filled the air. Something nicked his cheek, and he looked upwards into a gigantic beehive crawling with...

"Bees!"

As if responding to his fear, or his cry, the bees chased after Ash. The pokemon trainer ran back towards the pond. Pikachu wondered briefly if Ash needed assistance, but then shrugged it off and started eating the berries Ash had picked.

_Be very careful about bees, they like the sweetness of berries and do not like to be disturbed. Be extra careful if you are allergic to bee stings, and carry a cell phone with you._

Ash opened the door and dragged his itchy, bee bite-covered body inside. Pikachu balanced a bucket of berries on his head and brought it over to the pokemon trainer. Ash set the lone bucket onto the table as he tried not to scratch. "Okay, let's see if what I went through was worth it."

Only five berries remained. Ash's hand twitched in sync with his eyebrow. "I got sick to my stomach...fell in poison ivy...and got stung by a hive of bees...all for FIVE berries..."

Pikachu barely had enough time to duck into the cupboard before Ash began throwing a gigantic temper tantrum, complete with a list of unrepeatable words, just as his mother entered the room.

"ASSSSSHHHHH!"

Luckily, Pikachu was able to grab the five berries and leave before Mrs. Ketchum could begin her rant.

_It is true that buying your berries is the easiest way to go. However with the right planning, berry picking can be, well, fruitful._

(End)

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I have a few one-shot ideas for pokemon-centric fics, so I might put up a few of them later. Please be patient with the updates for this though; I find it really difficult to get working on a fic due to my seemingly short attention span. Thank yous to all who have reviewed! 


	6. Part 5: Exercise

I have finally gotten this part of the guide up... Hope you enjoy it. 

Disclaimer: I still do not own Pokemon.

* * *

(Part V: Exercise) Written by Brock Stone.

_Now pokemon, just like everyone else, need proper exercise. Under normal circumstances, this is no problem, as trainers battle with their pokemon and it serves as a great form of exercise. But if your pokemon hasn't been in a pokemon battle for a while, or not at all, you will have to have them work out. I suggest taking them to any number of gyms that dot the country. I am not talking about Pokemon League Gyms; I mean the ones where those who want to work out go to, well, work out._

Ash carried Pikachu into the Fitness Center in Pallet Town. The little mouse pokemon squealed in protest, trying unsuccessfully to zap his trainer. The black-haired trainer smartly wore rubber gloves and held him away from his chest. Ash brought himself and his irate pokemon to the front desk. The secretary looked away from her computer screen (where she was playing Minesweeper) and brought her bespectacled gaze to the trainer and his pokemon.

"Hi...I'm here for use of the Center..." Ash managed to grunt out. Pikachu was trying to bite him.

The secretary looked back at her screen and maximized the schedule window. "Mr. Ketchum, 9 am. Go right ahead." She handed him his pass and watched him enter the gym, then resumed her 'important' work.

_The best way to cover the price is to get a special pass, which will be prepaid and will allow you quick access to the gym._

* * *

Ash continued to carry Pikachu as he showed the mouse around. "See, there's the dumbbells, the thing that works those muscles in your legs, and the crunch machine thing." Pikachu was overwhelmed by the sight of sweaty fighting pokemon and their equally sweaty trainers. He thought they looked gross.

Ash and Pikachu looked inside numerous rooms, where classes ranging from karate to yoga to ballroom dancing were taking place. Pikachu liked these a lot better than the previous one.

_It is better to let your pokemon get used to the gym before starting your workout. When you do, be sure to join you pokemon in working out. This will make them more eager to do the workout too._

In fifteen minutes, Ash was in a tight full body suit. He sat next to Pikachu on a yoga mat, and they faced the instructor at the front. She spoke quietly, and wore a black full body suit. The class was filled with an assortment of trainers and their pokemon.

"Now, bring your arms down like this..." She cooed, and showed the class. Pikachu followed the motions, but Ash had a little difficulty...

"AGGGGGGG!"

He swore that he pulled something. Pikachu laughed as he twisted his tiny body into a very difficult pose with no pain involved.  
_  
Please do not over exert yourself; your pokemon will most likely not have the same difficulty and will laugh at you._

* * *

One class later and over ten icepacks later, Ash and his pokemon stood in a line in the line dancing class. They looked up at the instructor, a woman in sweatpants and a tank top.

"Now, we need to do two box steps followed by a grapevine followed by an electric slide followed by another electric slide in the opposite direction." The woman said as she demonstrated the motions. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped at this quick example, but the other trainers appeared very calm.

Ash and Pikachu were soon well underway in the dance, and had progressed at an alarmingly fast rate. They were so astounding that the teacher (Lets call her Ms. Bob for reference) entered them in the Kanto-wide dance-off in Saffron. They would later win a first prize ribbon and a spot on the cover of Pokemon Health Weekly.

Well, in actuality it was only Pikachu who progressed that far. Ash had botched the first box step, and sped up in order to compensate for his bad timing. This, coupled by the fact that he had two left feet, led to him falling on top of some other trainer's Raichu. In anger and surprise, the larger mouse pokemon had sent out a Thunderbolt attack, where it shocked Ash and severed the light just above Ash's head.

As the black-haired trainer stumbled around dizzily, he knocked into a Hitmonchan. This set off a domino effect among the occupants of the room and led to a total of two sprained ankles, twenty-five cracked ribs, and one very singed room (After a Wartortle landed on top of a very volatile Charmeleon).

_Encourage yourself and your pokemon to take your time in learning something new. Rome wasn't built in a day, and dances are not mastered in a day._

* * *

After being ushered out of the room by a frazzled teacher, who took Pikachu's name for the contest, the trainer and his pokemon entered a room comprised of stationary bikes, treadmills, and similar machines. Ash escorted Pikachu over to a set of treadmills.

"Now I'll go first, and then you." Nodding in agreement, the electric mouse waited for Ash to get on the machine before hopping up onto the controls. The pokemon had unknowingly turned on the treadmill to maximum speed, reserved for pokemon such as Arcanine. Ash, being Ash, had not placed his feet on the starting positions. Because of this, he was almost thrown off the belt, and clung desperately at the ends of the handgrips.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" He shouted as he ran with it, quite literally. Pikachu tried to find the button or switch with such a function, but as he was a pokemon, he couldn't read the markings on the buttons. So he pressed anything that came to mind.

The first button pressed increased the incline sharply, and made Ash work even harder at not falling off. "For the love of Mew, TURN IT OFF!"

Pikachu finally found the switch to shut the machine down and pressed it. But it was too late, and Ash went flying into the wall at the other end of the room.

_I urge you to follow all the safety notices on the equipment for your own safety. You will not regret it at the end._

* * *

Hours later, Ash stood in front of a mirror in the locker room, admiring his physique. His bulging pecs, the huge size of his triceps and biceps, and every other muscle in his body. "I am awesome, aren't I?"

It was at this moment that two men hefted up the plywood display with the awesome physique and carried it away. The regular Ash stood behind it, and he began to pose as Pikachu looked on. The little pokemon looked like he was struggling to contain his laughter.

"So how did you do, Pikachu?" Ash asked his pokemon. In answer, the little pokemon stood up and began to pose. But this time nice, small muscles made themselves known. "I see..."

But Pikachu increased the size, making himself look like a small bodybuilder. Ash looked back down at his unchanged body, then back at his pokemon, who had concealed his muscles again. "So what's your secret?"

_A well executed exercise routine for both you and your pokemon can result in an impressive payoff. It will increase your health and your pokemon's health, and boost the immune system. Pikachu later went on to win the Mister Pokemon contest as well as his dance contest. Ash was pushed out of the way by Pikachu's fanpokemon, and later slipped out the back of the building._

(End)

* * *

I hope to have the next soon... 


	7. Part 6: The Doctor's Office

Here's another part of this guide for your amusement...the doctor's office with Ash and Pikachu. 

Disclaimer: I still do not own pokemon...

* * *

(Part VI: Doctor's Office) Written by Brock Stone. 

_There comes a time in every trainer's life where your pokemon needs to get a checkup. No injuries, no poison status, no weird parasitic organisms; just a standard check up. If you happen to live in a big town or city, you will have all the luck of going to a Pokemon Center and having your pokemon examined by a friendly Nurse Joy. She will take your pokemon, and then she will return them after the exam is complete. But in a small town, you may have to take them to a regular doctor who is qualified in pokemon medicine._

Ash sat in the quiet waiting room, holding his Pikachu in his lap. He had to admit, the chairs were quite comfortable. But the elevator music playing in the background was getting really annoying after listening to it for fifteen minutes nonstop. Pikachu had picked up a magazine, but threw it down when he noticed how old it was. It was mostly about housekeeping anyway.

Some distance away, a middle-aged woman sat reading one of the outdated periodicals, while her Eevee sat on the table that held the magazines. Its eyes were runny, its coat lacked the usual luster, and it occasionally let out some rather wet sneezes. Ash really didn't want to risk getting some pokemon sickness, even if Professor Oak had told him there was nothing to worry about.

Ash began scratching his Pikachu's ears as he waited for the nurse to call them into the room. He wished his mother hadn't been so insistent of having Pikachu get a checkup; he could have brought the electric mouse to the professor when Oak and his grandson returned from their vacation at Seafoam.

"Mrs. Michaels, the doctor will see Edwina now." A plump nurse waited at the door, and the woman brought the sick Eevee into the other rooms. Pikachu, not knowing that the sneezes had been aimed at the magazines, picked up one out of boredom. Ash was too busy looking at someone who had brought in his Abra to notice.

_When you wait for the doctor to see your pokemon, it is important that you watch them around the other pokemon. Even if your pokemon are in good health, the same cannot be said for the pokemon of others._

"Mr. Ketchum, follow us please." Another nurse, similar to the other plump nurses at the office (all conveniently named Nurse Patience), escorted Ash and his pokemon to an examination room. The brunette nurse handed the trainer a clipboard of papers as he entered. "Please fill these out and we'll see you both afterwards."

Ash sat down on one of the hard chairs while Pikachu reclined on the padded table. He looked at the papers, and took up a pen.

"Name: Pikachu. Trainer's name: Ash Ketchum. Date of Birth: ...I'm not quite sure..." Some of the questions Ash was forced to leave blank, due to the lack of knowledge he had on the subject.

_Before going to the doctor, make sure you have your pokemon's records with you. It saves time and causes less stress._

A few minutes later, the doctor entered the room. He had gray hair, glasses, and a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He looked to be about fifty, and very friendly. "Hello, I'm Doctor Jay. And this must be Pikachu."

The doctor scratched the mouse pokemon behind the ears, examining the yellow pokemon as he did so. He pulled out a little light and shined it into Pikachu's ears; first one, and then the other. He shined the light into the pokemon's eyes, letting out little "hmm"s every now and then.

He checked inside Pikachu's mouth, then checked his heartbeat and lungs. Dr. Jay stood back, putting the stethoscope back around his neck. "Your Pikachu is in fine condition so far. I only need to do a few other things."

Nurse Patience wheeled in a cart that had a small scale and another strange instrument that looked like a car battery. "I'm going to take Pikachu's height and weight, then check the amount of electricity in his cheeks with this." He indicated the car battery-looking machine.

"Tip top shape." The doctor finally said. He marked down something on his clipboard. "Professor Oak sent me Pikachu's records, but it appears as if he's never had his shots."

"I don't think he has, either." Ash admitted. The doctor shrugged. "No big deal." Pikachu sighed in relief. "I can just give him his shots now." The yellow pokemon facefaulted.

_It is very wise to keep all records of shots on hand, as many of them are very important for safety and legal reasons. Sometimes a doctor will give your pokemon a whole bunch at one exam, just because so many are vital to your pokemon's health._

Another nurse wheeled in another cart, this one covered with countless hypodermic needles. The doctor slipped into a pair of rubber rain boots, and began prepping the first needles and Pikachu's arm. The pokemon was struggling to get away from the nurse, who also had on rubber boots.

"I'd advise you to hold onto your pokemon; it seems to help calm them." Doctor Jay said, before inserting the needle into the spot.

"PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

_Do not forget to go to the office prepared for shots. Rubber boots, gas masks, and fire-resistant suits are a few of the ways you can protect yourself from your pokemon's wrath._

The secretary looked up as Pikachu walked out of the room licking at a bright red lollypop, followed closely by a very singed Ash. He was still smoking from the last several thunderbolts he received.

"I'm a little fried right now. Could you bill us later instead?" Ash waited for the lady to nod, then limped over to the door with Pikachu leading the way.

_The obvious downside to going to the doctors instead of a Center is that Nurse Joy and her pokemon will handle your pokemon's exam, and it will not be necessary for you to hold down your pokemon when the needle comes in contact with your pokemon's skin. Ash later remarked that when Pikachu needed an exam and Professor Oak was out, he would travel to Viridian City._

(End)

* * *

I thank everyone who's read and reviewed this fic, and that I have yet another idea concerning an incident in this chapter...Ash is not going to be too happy... 


	8. Part 7: Illness

Remember that sick Eevee from the last chapter? It's come back to haunt Ash... 

Disclaimer: I never have nor ever will own Pokemon, or anything else.

* * *

(Part VII: Illness) Written by Brock Stone.

_It shall always be known that there are few things in life that are constants. Aside from death, taxes, and Team Rocket appearances at inopportune moments, there will always be illnesses. The same can be said for pokemon. Each species of pokemon has its own unique way of showing their illness. Fire types cough and sneeze fire, water types spray water, and psychic types are prone to making machines explode._

"Pii-kaaa-CHUUU!" The loud sneeze shook the windows in the Ketchum household one morning. Mrs. Ketchum and Mr. Mime looked up from their breakfast and coffee to observe a very crisp Ash walk into the kitchen. He was still smoking from the electricity.

"Mom? I think Pikachu caught something at the doctors..." He groaned. Mrs. Ketchum looked at him over the mug. "Are you sure he's not storing excess electricity?"

_Pikachu, as well as Raichu and Pichu, are known to spark from their cheeks with colds or when they over-store electricity. If they also have a fever, runny nose, sneezing/coughing, and general soreness, they are sick. Please don't confuse the two, or permanent damage could occur to the cheek sacs._

"Mom, he has a fever, runny nose, and coughing. I think he's sick." Ash replied as he gathered up some supplies on a tray. "Do you have any medicine?"

_Just like human colds, a pokemon cold must be waited out. There are no cures, but the proper care can make the experience a little better._

Pikachu rubbed his eyes miserably and sank back against the pillows. His cheeks were painful and felt swollen, and he was irritable at being sick. The electric rodent looked up at his trainer walked back into the room with a tray of supplies.

"Okay Pikachu. I brought some things that will make you feel better..." As set the tray down, then picked up a wet washcloth and put it on Pikachu's forehead.

_Cold compresses can ease a fever...just don't use on fire, ground, or rock types._

Pikachu sighed with relief, then felt a twinge in his nose. He tried rubbing it, but the sneeze built. "Kaa-CHU!" A large bolt of electricity hit the raven-haired trainer, and sent him flying. "Pikapi..." Pikachu moaned.

_Be warned that the pokemon will sneeze or cough on you, possibly resulting in burns, shocks, and other pains as a result._

Ash climbed slowly back onto the bed, and picked up a purple bottle of medicine. "Here Pikachu, this will help..."

The yellow mouse eyed the bottle and the cup of violet fluid, and turned his head. "Chuuu..." Ash continued holding the medicine in his hand. "Aw come on Pikachu. This will help." The trainer began reading off the label on the package. "'Pokeplus, a pokemon medicine that will help ease the symptoms of a cold. Specially formulated for the Pikachu evolution line.' See, nothing dangerous."

_Any brand of pokemon medicine will help with the runny noses and fever of your pokemon. But be sure the medicine suits the species of pokemon. Do not give medicine meant for large pokemon to smaller pokemon, and vice versa. The dosage will be improper._

Pikachu eyed the cup carefully. It looked to be the correct dosage. Just as Pikachu was reaching for the cup, another sneeze came on.

"Piii-Kaa-CHUU!"

Ash sat on the bed; purple liquid dripping down his face as his hair stood up on end from the shocks. He used the back of his hand to wipe it off, and again poured the correct dosage, this time giving it directly to Pikachu.

_Sometimes another dosage must be given for numerous reasons._

Pikachu sniffled, and peered at the TV screen from under the washcloth. He felt too sick to pay any attention, but the noise seemed to help. Pikachu felt the beginnings of a sneeze taking root again, and looked for the box of tissues. The brightly-decorated box sat at the other end of the bed.

_The noise from a TV may help to comfort your pokemon, as long as the show is not too noisy or bright. Also, be sure to leave a box of tissues within easy access of your pokemon. They just may need it._

The electric mouse began the slow trek over the bed to get a tissue. The washcloth fell off soon after the journey started. It was race against the sneeze as the inches and feet slipped by. The tissue box was in sight, and Pikachu reached for the tissues of salvation...

"I brought lunch."

...And Ash walked in. Seeing the pokemon out of the warmth of the blankets, he set down the food and came to his rescue. "How'd you get over here? You shouldn't be up with that fever."

Pikachu just missed grabbing a tissue when the arms of his trainer scooped him up and put him back under the covers. "There. Anything else, buddy?"

Ash didn't even have time to react as Pikachu's sneeze blasted out his window.

_When dealing with sick pokemon, expect to see some type of damage to your property._

It was a few hours later, and Pikachu was feeling much better. He was wrapped in soft blankets, the washcloth back on his forehead. The electric mouse laughed at the antics of the pokemon and people on "Kanto's Funniest Inhabitants", as Ash personally fed him chicken noodle soup (made by Mrs. Ketchum, of course).

"Feeling better, Pikachu?" Ash questioned. Pikachu was about to reply, when he felt another sneeze coming. Ash screamed as the hot soup splashed his face.

Pikachu knew he was back to his old self when he laughed at the way the trainer ran around the room screaming.

_Hot soup, medicine, and plenty of tender loving care will make the period of sickness fly by. Pikachu awoke the next morning to find himself perfectly healthy. Ash, on the other hand, awoke to find his other five pokemon sick. One could hear him scream in terror as his pokemon all sneezed in unison._

(End)

* * *

Yet another installment of Brock's guide. Next chapter will be either Tracey or another character, I haven't decided yet (much less written it). Maybe Ash again. Any opinions will help. 


	9. Part 8: Communication

This is the Tracey chapter, as some might have looked forward to. I'll only say that this was possibly the hardest chapter to write yet. The next chapter might be a mix of trainers.

* * *

(Part VIII: Communication) Written by Brock Stone. 

_A very important aspect of raising pokemon is understanding what they say. Many trainers have difficulty understanding their pokemon when they start out, and not many people can understand what other people's pokemon say. The closer the two are, the better it is. Of course, psychics and their pokemon are connected telepathically and don't really need to talk. Sometimes non-psychics can be linked in a sense to their pokemon._

_Scientists have been working on a way to communicate with any pokemon, at any time and at any place. Success is limited, however. Only pokemon with five fingers can use sign language, and not all pokemon can maneuver flags for semaphore._

Tracey Sketchett, Professor Oak's assistant and a pokemon watcher, brought a small box of supplies into the room with his Venonat. The small bug pokemon with the purple fur and big eyes watched his trainer's actions by his silhouette. The pokemon held up the two flags curiously after his trainer handed them to him.

"Venonat?" He questioned.

"I need you to help me with something, Venonat."

_Since there is no single way at the moment, you may teach your pokemon how to communicate with any means necessary...or just become very close to your pokemon._

The purple bug watched as Tracey started reciting the alphabet while positioning the flags. Each time the pokemon watcher paused in the hopes of his pokemon mimicking him. "Come on Venonat, you try."

Venonat attempted to move the flags, but settled on waving them wildly around when he couldn't remember the positions. The flags were thrown from the bug pokemon's tiny hands and hit Tracey in the forehead.

_If you try and teach your pokemon semaphore, be aware that the flags may be flung at any moment. Be sure to duck._

Tracey rubbed the small indents on his forehead as he tossed the pens and paper out of the box; Venonat couldn't see writing separate from the paper in order to learn how to read and write. The pokemon watcher then pulled out a small square box with assorted knobs and buttons on it, as well as a microphone and speakers. He set the equipment up and then put the mike in front of Venonat.

"Now all you have to do is speak into this." Tracey indicated the microphone and the bug pokemon chirped. Venonat then began to sing a song into the mike as Tracey began adjusting the settings of the machine.

This proved to be his undoing.

The speakers, receiving information from the box and the microphone, let out a piercing shriek as they tried and failed to project the translation. Or they failed because Venonat can't sing well. Either way, the resulting noise caused the tiny bug pokemon to emit a shriek of his own and dash off the table.

"Wait! Come back Venonat!" It was too late, as the bug had already jumped out the first story window and ran into the surrounding woods. Tracey discarded the failed pokemon speech translator and ran after the pokemon.

_Many pokemon have excellent hearing. Do not shout to speak with them; they can understand you perfectly. Also, take care when using an untested pokemon translator. The sound may be set too high._

"Venonat? Venonat!" The pokemon watcher called out futilely. His pokemon was in hiding and Tracey had no real idea of where he went. The pokemon preserve at Oak's Lab had acres and acres of pokemon habitats, each suitable to almost all species of pokemon. It was where many pokemon were observed and cared for; many of which belonged to pokemon trainers.

And because of the safety and protection it offered, the preserve served as a rest stop for many migrating pokemon during almost every season. It was also a very nice mating ground for pokemon, especially the easily irritated ones.

Of course Tracey, being the assistant of the world's best pokemon professor and researcher, knew this. But Tracey was too concerned about his Venonat to remember.

As fate would have it (and being a very cruel personified idea), it happened to be Beedrill, Scyther, and Houndour mating season, and Tracey just happened to be in their territory...making noise by shouting.

_If you happen to scare your pokemon off by using a translator, be very careful not to disturb the wild pokemon in the area. As said before, pokemon are sensitive to sound and can be easily annoyed. Especially during mating season._

"AGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Tracey screamed as he sprinted through the underbrush, chased from behind by the Beedrill, Scyther, and Houndour groups. He ran to the nearest body of water, a swimming pond for water pokemon, and dived in. Because bug pokemon can't swim below the surface, and because fire is dampened by water, Tracey hoped he was safe.

It was too bad for him that it was also Magikarp evolution time in that particular pond.

A while later, a wet, scorched, cut up, nearly drowned, and generally maimed Tracey winced as he limped towards the open field area of the preserve. It was about the time that Professor Oak fed the pokemon there, and Tracey hoped he could get a ride back to the lab before going back to search for his pokemon.

"Veno, venonat!" A frantic-sounding chirping caused Tracey to look near the fences. His Venonat was bouncing up and down frantically, chirping madly at Tracey for some reason. "What is it, Venonat?" It was then that the ground began to shake, a loud thundering filling the air. Tracey looked horrified and turned slowly around, his fears confirmed as Ash's thirty Tauros stampeded towards him.

_And if your pokemon runs off, be very careful of pokemon stampedes. They can result in much pain._

Hours later Tracey awoke to find himself in one of the lab's hospital beds, with Mrs. Ketchum and Professor Oak hovering over him. Both were very concerned, judging by their facial expressions, and Ash's mom had bandages in her hands. Venonat sat at the foot of Tracey's bed.

"Thank goodness you're awake." Mrs. Ketchum sighed. The professor nodded. "That Tauros herd knocked you out cold, but luckily there were no serious injuries." He indicated Venonat with his hand. "Your Venonat came right to me and told me what happened."

_Tracey, looking past his bandaged leg, smirked at the realization: It takes time in order to understand pokemon languages, not machines. Tracey spent a few days in bed recovering from the incident, with Venonat chirping out a song to entertain his trainer. It was unfortunate that Venonat was tone deaf._

(End)

* * *

Not one of the best segments, but writing Tracey wasn't as easy as people say. Upcoming chapters may include rainy days, airport security, and may involve gym leaders (and a big stress on that last may). 


	10. Part 9: Airport Security

This is a "Brock's Guide" first: multiple characters in the same chapter. See them cause trouble at the airport, with and without their pokemon. 

Disclaimer: Ringtailer720 does not own Pokemon. She holds no responsibility, legal or otherwise, should you attempt any of the things listed below.

* * *

(Part VIIII: Airport Security) Written by Brock Stone.

_Vacations can be wonderful experiences for both you and your pokemon. It is healthy for them to take time off of training and to relax for a while. Even league rules state that gym leaders can have up to three weeks vacation time a year in order to rest their pokemon. However, security at the airport can cause more stress than is healthy, especially if your pokemon dislikes being in its pokeball._

"Hold up, young man."

Ash Ketchum and his Pikachu were stopped in their tracks by two security guards in blue uniforms. He gulped when he saw the harsh expressions on their faces. "Yes sirs?"

The guard on the left stepped forward. "We need to ask you to step through this metal detector." The brown-haired guard gestured to the security device, where a long line of people stood to go through. The young trainer had to turn his head to see the end of the line, which ended somewhere in the next room. "But the line is so long!" He whined in protest.

The guard on the right, a redhead, continued to point at the end of the line. "Well, you should have been here two hours early like the rest of them." He replied coldly. Ash and his yellow mouse pokemon sighed in unison and began to make the long trek back to the end.

_If you plan on flying on a commercial jetliner, be sure to arrive much earlier than your scheduled time of departure._

As Ash walked to the end of the line, he passed by Lt. Surge, who was currently reading a copy of "Military Trainers Monthly" while he stood next to his Raichu. The larger mouse pokemon was also reading, but his book involved many pictures and no words. Slowly but surely, the Lieutenant ended up at the front of the line. He put the rolled-up magazine in his back pocket and stepped through the metal detector. Shrill beeping filled the room, and caused several canine pokemon to begin howling.

"I'm sorry sir, but you have to go back and remove all of your metal objects." The red-haired guard said. Surge growled, but complied. He removed his dog tags, metal-studded belt, pokeballs and two watches. He went through again, but the shrill beeping started again. "You have to go back again, sir."

Several people behind the electric gym leader groaned and complained as Surge pulled out any loose change and put it in the box with his other metal objects. But again, the shrill beeping filled the room. Muttering several unrepeatable words Surge went back and removed any clothing that had any sort of metal on or in them. Which was everything but his boxers and socks. He sighed in relief when the metal detector remained silent.

"Here you are sir." Surge grabbed the plastic bucket from the other end of the table and proceeded to put on his clothing. His Raichu succeeded in short-circuiting the detector by just going through.

_To save time and cut down on the hassle, try not to wear so much metal when you know there will be a metal detector there. Also, be careful of electric pokemon, as they may cause trouble for the machine._

Back at the end, Ash was whistling in boredom. He snickered at some people's hairstyles and choice of clothes. He tossed scraps of paper at the people in front of him, and managed to shock the people in the back of the line when he accidentally stepped on Pikachu's tail.

_If you are bored easily, try to plan ahead before you head to the airport. Bring a magazine or some kind of reading material to pass the time. It will help to avoid conflicts with the other people waiting in line._

Farther up ahead of both Ash and Lt. Surge, Sabrina was entering the next part of the security process with her Kadabra at her side. Another security personnel stopped her in her tracks. He had curly brown hair, a pimply face, and it was easy to tell that he was new on the job. And that he liked to stop all the female passengers for screening.

"You have been selected to receive additional screening. Please step off to the side." She glared hard at the guard, who started to sweat. Neither moved for the longest time. Her pokemon decided to join her in glaring at the guy. The guard tugged at his collar while Sabrina intensified her glare. The guard's eyes widened in fear until he could no longer stand the pressure. He screamed and launched himself out of the nearby window, landing safely on a bunch of pillows that were being transported to the plane's luggage compartment.

Sabrina finally smirked and moved on, thanking her father for passing on telekinetic powers to her.

_If you happen to be psychic, you may choose to use your abilities to get by some of the unneeded parts of the airport security. Mainly the parts that repeat the earlier screenings._

Back in the line for the metal detectors, Pikachu was helping Ash to nurse his black eye and other bruises received from the angered people in the line.

At the entranceway to the plane, Erika held her Gloom tightly in her arms as she continued to walk. Yet another guard stopped the gym leader, a female this time. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but the pokemon must be put back into its pokeball."

Erika, an empathetic grass gym leader, was going through a stage where she felt that pokemon should not be restrained in their pokeballs. She had left all her others back at the gym where they could stay out in the open, and only brought her Gloom with her.

"I'm sorry for the trouble," Erika began, reaching down as if to grab the pokeball. Suddenly, she shouted, "Sleep powder, Gloom!"

The tiny granules of sleep-causing pollen scattered into the air, catching the personnel off-guard with a blast in the face. Her eyes slowly slid shut, and she fell to the floor in a heavy sleep. Erika congratulated the plant pokemon, stepping lightly over the body to enter the plane.

_A grass-type pokemon may be used to distract security in the event that one of the guards asks you to put your pokemon inside their pokeballs. Try not to use stun spore, as certain types can be poisonous as well._

Finally Ash found himself at the entranceway to the plane, where a new guard made sure that all pokemon were inside their pokeballs. Seeing the Pikachu at the trainer's feet, the new guard stopped him. "You can't enter the plane unless your pokemon is put in its pokeball."

Pikachu began to shout angrily in his own language at the guard, mostly complaining about the discrimination against pokemon kind. Ash rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well you see, sir, my pokemon has an acute fear of enclosed spaces. You know, that word that begins with a 'C' and means he's afraid of small spaces."

"Claustrophobia?" The guard asked, and Ash snapped his fingers. "That's right! He's got claustrophobia. He panics whenever I put him in his pokeball, and then he just pops out. Sometimes he faints, and Nurse Joy said not to put him in there because it mentally scars him." The black-haired trainer gave a little nod.

The security guard sighed. "Look, it's my job to have people put their pokemon in their pokeballs. No matter what fear the pokemon has." Pikachu looked at Ash, and Ash looked at Pikachu. Then, Ash gave a nod to his pokemon. "You know what, forget this. Thunder wave, Pikachu."

As the tendrils of electricity caused the guard to fall to the ground, the trainer and his pokemon jogged into the plane. They had just made it inside the jet in time.

_If you have an electric pokemon, feel free to try out a thunder wave on the unsuspecting guard. Lt. Surge, Sabrina, Erika, and Ash were all apprehended at their destinations for attacking airport security and (in the case of Surge) breaking a metal detector. Meanwhile Gary had already arrived at his vacation spot in record time by using a magnet train to get there, and he was not impeded by any sort of security. So if you want to avoid the troubles of airport security, without getting in trouble with the law, see if there is an alternative way of getting to your vacation spot._

(End)

* * *

Ash wasn't the only one getting in trouble this time. Next: Harley attempts to make his Cacturn look its best without spending too much money. 


	11. Part 10: Grooming Sessions

This chapter is about Harley, and was quite difficult to write out... Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, except for my game boy games.

* * *

(X: Grooming) Written by Brock Stone. 

_I'm sure you've all heard the old adage of "Beauty is only skin deep". It basically means not to put everything into physical appearances. The same goes for your pokemon; do not focus mainly on your pokemon's look and completely ignore its inner personality. All the same, do not disregard appearances. Your pokemon gets a confidence boost from looking its best, and from the general good feelings it gets from the grooming process._

Harley walked towards the tiny shop on the corner of the street, a shiny pokeball in his hand. He spoke to it quietly, as he always did while walking to the pokemon groomers. "Don't worry my precious. Soon you'll be looking fine and kicking that sorry excuse for a coordinator around the stage."

Harley was, of course, referring to his self-proclaimed archenemy May. The violet-haired coordinator could imagine his Cacturne standing in victory in the center stage, cameras flashing while his foot rested on the smooth exterior of a Squirtle's shell. May wept in her corner of the room, and Harley laughed in spite above the constant praise of his success. His laughter had extended outward and startled some nearby locals, who rushed to find a safe place to escape to.

His laughter was cut short as he reached the salon doors, and his eyes flittered across the bold lettering on the sign. "500 dollars for a grooming session!" He exclaimed. "What kind of place charges 500 dollars?" He gave a hesitant look downward at his Cacturne's pokeball, while he contemplated what to do.

_But some places charge way too much to give your pokemon the weekly spa treatment. In that case, you can do it yourself for a fraction of what it normally costs._

The door to the hotel slammed open, the person standing in front of it hidden by the huge amount of supplies in his arms. The form moved forward and deposited all of it onto the bed, and Harley sighed. Then he sent out his pokemon. The green cactus pokemon looked between his trainer and the large amount of stuff on the bed. "Turne?" He mused.

Harley picked up a mud mask kit and showed it to Cacturne. "I've decided to give you your spa treatment this week, okay Cacturne?" The pokemon looked from his smiling face to the rest of the stuff, and was hit with unease.

_The most important thing about grooming your pokemon is to use natural ingredients; free of chemicals. This is so that should your pokemon eat some of the stuff, it does not make them sick._

Harley flipped open the spa catalogue and skimmed to the point where it explained the milk bath. "How about a milk bath first?" He turned to find that Cacturne had left the room. "Buddy?" He decided to just shrug and proceed to fill the tub with the milk. He didn't like how cold it was, so he added hot water until the solution was just hot enough to be uncomfortable. It would cool down while he searched for his pokemon. He left the bathroom, the door closing on his way out to reveal the scarecrow pokemon hiding behind the door.

Cacturne made his way to the edge of the tub. After deeming the contents as safe, the pokemon quietly slipped into the tub and muttered a relaxed sigh.

_The milk bath can be a great way to great skin and hair in a pokemon. Just be sure that the milk, or the mix, is not cold. You may also find it easier to just use powdered milk._

Harley poked his head into the bathroom after hearing a sigh. Then he walked in with the mud kit in his hands. "So are you ready to have your facial treatment?" He asked and showed the pokemon the box. Cacturne gave one look to the box and sniffed haughtily in another direction. "What's wrong?"

"Turne, cacturne cact." Harley looked at the box. "You mean you want all natural mud?" The pokemon nodded; Harley threw the box down. "I'll be right back."

Cacturne sank back and relaxed at the peace and quiet for the half-hour Harley was gone. The bathroom door was flung open and Harley carried in another mask kit. "Here it is. An all natural mud mask kit." The pokemon once again turned away from the coordinator. "What's wrong this time?"

The Cacturne explained that the mud was not all natural; a real all natural mask would consist of actual mud. Harley looked bewildered. "Where am I going to find real mud in the city!"

_Sometimes your pokemon may insist on having the real all natural. It would be in your best interest to do so, as it is more healthy for your pokemon than not._

Harley stepped out of the bus near the woods outside the city limits. The ground was still heavily saturated with water from the last rainstorm that had passed through. He shuddered in revulsion as he scooped up the mud with his hands and put it into the large baggy.

Back at the hotel, Cacturne had ordered a few dozen scented candles, and was now relaxing in the hot milk water. The candles burning all around were the only source of light. A CD player was playing the peaceful sounds of jazz lounge music. The pokemon had also ordered a hot fudge sundae from room service. Cacturne let the melted dark chocolate and ice cream melt in his mouth.

_You may not want to leave your pokemon alone, but there's no guarantee that your pokemon won't have their own spa treatment while you're gone._

Cacturne heard Harley return and in the blink of an eye, everything was gone. No traces of candles or the sundae remained as Harley entered with the mud.

"I've gotten the mud." Harley stated as he washed his hands. "Now we can start on the mud mask." Cacturne looked at him and the mud and nodded, then began telling him something else. Harley's shoulders sagged, as he understood his pokemon's request. "You want nail polish for your spines?" He asked, disbelieving of his pokemon. Cacturne nodded in response. "I'll go get it then."

_Make sure that you let your pokemon decide what parts of the treatment they want and which ones they don't. Resistance on their part can mean trouble for you._

Harley stood in line at the drug store, a basket full of fine nail polishes in his hand basket. He looked around at the magazines lining the racks while the long line slowly diminished. Finally reached the cashier, who rang everything up and placed it into a bag. "That comes to a total of 169 dollars." The redheaded female added a bit too cheerfully. Harley froze while he double-checked the green numbers on the machine.

"Do you take charge card?"

The candles and music were back as Cacturne continued to relax in the tub. A mud mask had been liberally applied to most of his face. Another sundae was sitting beside the tub, half-eaten.

In a flash everything was gone again as Harley entered the bathroom. He carried the nail polishes over and set them along the tub's edge. "So, which would you like?"

Cacturne turned away again and Harley's face fell. "Is something wrong?" Cacturne explained to his trainer that he wanted something to eat, and Harley slipped out of the room to go to the nearby store. Cacturne wasted no time in calling the main desk and ordering a few blonde manicurists and masseuses. Then the pokemon watched his favorite shows while the women worked on his spines. He enjoyed a banana split with extra chocolate syrup thanks to room service.

_Take extra care when using perfumes and polishes on your pokemon. There is a chance for more harm to be caused than good._

_Days later, after Harley had his new ribbon, he opened the bill for his charge card. After seeing the thousand dollars he owed, and restarted his heart after the shock, he vowed to get the much cheaper professional job next time. It was proof that sometimes, your pokemon may not want the cheaper of two evils._

(End)

* * *

This is finally done after two weeks of being on hold, collecting dust on my disk. Maybe I'm losing my inspiration, or maybe I can't be lenient on the characters. 


	12. Part 11: Leaving Them at Home

Well I'm back after a long period of brain freeze. I hope the next few guides come easier than this one. At least I have a few in mind.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, only a few games.

* * *

(Part XI: Leaving Them Home) Written by Brock Stone.

_There comes a time when every trainer must do something that could prove fatal: leaving their pokemon to go on important errands. However there are some minor setbacks to leaving them home. You may return to find your home in shambles. Or, and this is especially true for psychic trainers who have teleporting pokemon, completely gone._

The rain spattered the windows, obscuring the scenery of the Ketchum's garden. Two pokemon leaned on their arms and stared glassy-eyed out the window, waiting for the return of their trainer. Grovyle seemed ready to explode from boredom, and turned to look at Pikachu. He grinned around the stick in between his teeth, holding up a roll of toilet paper in one hand. The yellow mouse looked up at the gecko, then joined him in grinning evilly.

Minutes later found the two pokemon running about the house, screaming and draping toilet paper over anything they could. They used the springiness of the couch and beds to get into even the most difficult of places. Pikachu was in the middle of a dive off of the bookshelf when the toilet paper strand ended. He landed with a squeak on the carpet, and sighed sadly as he held the cardboard tube in his paws.

Grovyle caught his attention by waving another roll in his face. The grass type then indicated the nearly full bag of the toilet tissue he had dragged out of the bathroom closet...

_The most important thing to remember is to keep the toilet paper away from your pokemon. There is nothing worse than wasted toilet paper._

The mouse and the gecko panted in the middle of what used to be a nice clean living room, but was now draped in curtains of soft two ply. A pile of empty rolls lay feet from their heads.

The only problem was that their boredom had returned again. They looked carefully at the TV, with the satellite hook-up and surround sound. In no time the two pokemon had received an action packed movie on pay per view. For the first half-hour the pokemon watched the secret agent/brain surgeon/astronaut/PI blast his way through countless bad guys and hidden chambers. But as the hero moved in for a kiss from the beautiful vixen blonde rival agent/doctor named Mary Sue, the two found themselves becoming bored yet again.

So they both stood up and left the TV to play on its own while they moved into the kitchen.

_I would suggest hiding the remote or unplugging the TV so your pokemon do not run up expensive pay per view movies on your bill. Or at least lock up the TV._

Grovyle helped place every last flavor of ice cream onto the counter where Pikachu sat. The two had already set the numerous other ingredients on the counter: chocolate syrup, hot fudge, cherries, nuts, assorted sprinkles, cookies, and bananas. Pikachu carefully retrieved the bowls from the closet and was making his way to the food when the bowls slipped from his paws and shattered on the ground.  
The pokemon looked at one another while Grovyle hastily used his foot to scrape the remains under a nearby rug. He acted as though nothing had happened.

Pikachu gestured at the food sitting out on the table, making it known to his fellow pokemon that his actions still left the question of how to serve their banana splits. Grovyle, being the self-proclaimed genius that he was, brought over the family blender. He plugged it into the wall outlet and began dumping large quantities of the food items into the glass blender. Then Pikachu hit the 'mix' button.

The two wondered briefly at how long it might take to blend the stuff, and Grovyle placed his elbow onto the chocolate syrup bottle that had tipped over. A geyser of chocolate hit Pikachu dead center in the face. Grovyle rubbed the back of his head as the yellow mouse pokemon wiped the chocolate out of his eyes. Pikachu grabbed an ice cream scoop and started hurling random flavors at the grass pokemon. Despite Grovyle's speed, Pikachu managed to hit him with as many scoops as possible.

Grovyle grabbed the syrup again and started squirting it in the direction of the ice cream snowballs. He grabbed a couple of cherries and nuts and threw them as well. He heard Pikachu squeak as a cherry beaned the mouse pokemon in the eye. Grovyle could barely see with the cold dessert melting into his eyes.

Suddenly the long-forgotten blender made a Vesuvius-like eruption, belching its cold and creamy contents all over the combatants and half of the kitchen. Pikachu and Grovyle panicked and pulled the plug on the machine. Its motor stopped and it settled down.

The two pokemon exchanged glances before resuming the interrupted food war.

_Also, avoid leaving more food than is necessary with your pokemon. It may not wind up in someone's stomach._

The sticky pokemon emerged with bits of nuts and sprinkles dusted all over them. They never even got a chance to eat anything. Grovyle was looking particularly morose when his foot struck a long forgotten box.

The two pokemon realized that this box contained a highly difficult one thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. It was actually more of a nine hundred and ninety seven piece puzzle, but that is a different story. The two pokemon opened it up and dumped the entire box all over the floor. Grovyle picked up one of the pieces. He put it in his mouth, chewed it deliberately and swallowed, then decided that it wasn't worth eating.

_Don't leave puzzles lying around without explaining the point of the pieces. You will wind up with fewer pieces than you started._

There were no more chances of boredom-related mayhem because Ash and his mother stepped into the house. Mr. Mime held an umbrella over Mrs. Ketchum's head. They just stood stunned in the doorway, holding their grocery bags in their arms. Ash set the bags down and stepped forward.

"What the heck is going--" His foot slipped on a puddle of ice cream; he struggled to stay upright but managed to further slip on some syrup. He waved his arms wildly, falling into a bigger swamp of the liquid. Ash stood up but slipped again, falling into the jigsaw puzzle pieces before further slipping on some cherry remnants. Luckily he landed on a nice pile of two ply toilet paper.

Mr. Mime had a conniption fit. His mother just continued to stare into space.

_Mrs. Ketchum was fine after some bed rest and some counseling from Professor Oak. The puzzle lost a few more pieces, becoming a nine hundred and two piece one. Ash had to pay for the extensive charges from the pay per view, and Grovyle and Pikachu were never left unattended ever again. But Ash still had much more in store for him..._

The young trainer had just finished his morning's business when he reached over to grab the toilet paper. His eyes widened when all he managed to pull was the end of the paper from the cardboard tubing. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

The most important lesson is that one should never leave their pokemon alone on a rainy day.

(End)

* * *

This turned out how I least expected. The next one might focus on Professor Oak, or another person.


	13. Part 12: Lost!

I haven't died, I'm just "mentally constipated". You know, when too much is going on and too many ideas keep poking their noses into your brain and you really want to rip your hair out.

Disclaimer: I never have and never will own Pokemon; they are property of other people.

* * *

(Part XII: Lost!!) Written by Brock Stone. 

_There comes a time in every trainer's life when the unthinkable happens: Your pokemon goes missing. You check every place possible, such as under your bed where you put a half-eaten turkey sandwich for later, and the neighbor's tool shed. You then are forced to face the music: your pokemon is missing._

_The first thing to do is to stay perfectly calm. You need to in order to make the next few decisions. _

"Squirtle! Where are you, Squirtle?" May cried out, close to tears. She ripped off the sheets of Ash's bed, ignoring the fact that the raven-haired trainer was still sleeping in them. Not finding her pokemon there, she then proceeded to wake the rest of the room's occupants, and quite possibly the whole Pokemon Center.

"What's up, May?" Her brother Max, still half-asleep, asked her. The brunette, however, ignored him and continued to tear apart the room in order to find the missing turtle pokemon. "Wasn't he in his pokeball?"

"That's the thing!" May squeaked out. "I took him out to get him all perfect for the contest tonight. He ran off when Chansey knocked over a pile of bedpans and scared him."

While the others were wondering about why the Pokemon Center would have bedpans in the first place, May ran out into the hallway and proceeded to pull out the decorative potted trees from their pots. Brock approached the distressed young girl, trying to prevent her from damaging the center which would hopefully put him in good standing with the center's Joy.

"Calm down, May. We'll just go look for him."

_The first step on your search should be to get a hold of the local law enforcement officers, seeing as how the world is full of poachers who quite possibly could have swiped your pokemon._

"Officer Jenny!" Brock landed at the feet of the woman in blue, having been tripped up by Max's purposely placed leg. This seemed to knock Brock into a state of normalcy. He stood up.

"Officer! My friend's pokemon is missing! Could you please help us find him?" He asked hopefully.

_Have confidence that the wonderful people in blue will now help you locate your pokemon that much faster._

"I'm really busy now; go search for it yourself!" The female officer snapped, riding off on her motorcycle and leaving the trainers in the dust.

"Wow," muttered Max. "And this is where our taxes are going."

_In the meantime, put yourself to work. Make posters, form search parties, and ask around for any sightings of your pokemon. There's a good chance that somebody's seen it._

Squirtle wandered about the sidewalks, happily unaware of the posters of him that were on the walls above him and currently being applied to the buildings across the street. He stopped off at a street vendor, running off with a hot dog when the man working it wasn't looking.

The pokemon stopped in front of a TV store, watching the movie that was playing on fifteen screens simultaneously. He walked away when the station changed to the news, completely missing the frantic image of Ash that called out to him. He also missed the young trainer get restrained by the news crew.

Meanwhile, May was having no luck with using Eevee to track down Squirtle. The fluffy pokemon often got off track, taking May straight through a parade and almost getting run over by the instrument-playing Machoke.

Ash had been thrown from the TV station by a few of the security officers, landing on top of Pikachu in the process. The Thunderbolt the mouse pokemon released not only shocked Ash, but also triggered the car alarms in the neighboring vehicles.

_Another great tip is to have your other pokemon help look for your missing pokemon._

Squirtle walked happily through a group of mimes and their Mr. Mimes, all of who happened to be in the middle of an interesting game of Tug-of-War. He turned left and entered a candy store, eager to try out a few of the brightly-colored goodies.

Blocks behind him, a blackened Ash sprinted after Pikachu, the electric rodent leading him through the mimes where Ash was clothes lined by the invisible rope the mime pokemon had created for their trainers.

Elsewhere in the city, May hung her head out of a moving taxi while shouting her pokemon's name. Brock was little better: he had acquired a bullhorn and was now shouting out the window from his seat behind the cabdriver. The burly man winced at the shouting, and looked back at his passengers.

"Can I see the bullhorn for a minute?" He asked Brock. When Brock had surrendered the device, the cabdriver proceeded to toss it out his window and smirk when it landed in a dumpster.

"That thing was giving me a headache."

The yellow car drove past the candy shop, where the old couple who ran the place was cooing happily at the tiny turtle pokemon who sat in the barrel of gummy bears by the front counter. The pokemon smiled up at the old woman, who then decided to go get her camera.

Max and Ash had met up in front of the TV store, where Pikachu had picked up the scent of the missing pokemon. They then proceeded to ask the nearby people about the whereabouts of the Squirtle. However, they had to cut this short when Pikachu dashed away through the center of the approaching parade.

_No matter what it takes, continue to look for your pokemon. Don't be surprised if your pokemon shows up at a Pokemon Center or your home weeks later. Pokemon live naturally in the wild_ _for a reason: they can survive._

The group of four met in front of the candy store hours later. They were tired and hungry, and Ash was covered in garbage from when the others had thrown him into the junkyard to see if May's pokemon had wandered in there.

"Wonder what the fuss is about?" May mused when they saw the huge crowd standing in front of the window of the store, all of whom were cooing at something on the other side of the glass. She squeezed her way to the door to sate her curiosity, where an exuberant smile broke out on her face.

"Squirtle!"

_With the help of the group, May succeeded in locating her missing Squirtle. She later won her contest, where the publicity caused by the pokemon's appearance at the candy store was phenomenal. The old couple proceeded to gain popularity when the old woman's picture appeared in that evening's paper. Ash had to get many shots because of the cut he obtained on a piece of metal and a bite from the guard Growlithe at the dump._

(End)

* * *

I'm very sorry this took so long, it's just really difficult to come up with ideas for this when about fifty of them pop up at once, each demanding to be written at the same time.

Let me take a moment to thank all my reviewers (all sixty-six of them!). Reading over your reviews again has motivated me to keep this thing going for a good while. I will also consider a few ideas which you have suggested, such as a chapter for Brock and a (possible) chapter with romance.

Once again, thanks for reading and sticking by this!

Edit: I've fixed a few errors in this, mostly dealing with the wrong verb tenses in the wrong places.


	14. Part 13: Matchmaker Matchmaker

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon; Nintendo does. The title was inspired by the song in _Fiddler on the Roof_. NeDeN-CaNdY suggested a chapter about a possible romance. I tried to get this out for Valentines Day, but I couldn't get it to flow the way I wanted it to in time.

(Part XIII: Matchmaker, Matchmaker)

Written by Brock Stone. 

_One of the points involving pokemon which hasn't yet been covered yet involves the topic on mating habits. Not all trainers will utilize this feature; it is usually used by pokemon breeders and trainers who hope to gain stronger pokemon. Sometimes this magical event occurs on accident when a trainer leaves two pokemon who like each other alone. Other times, a trainer or breeder will need more than the pokemon he or she has on hand._

Brock walked into the convention center, looking around at the assembled that clustered every few feet from each other. He was followed closely by Sudowoodo and Croagunk; he held Happiny in his arms.

He looked from group to group as he searched for potential mates for his two older pokemon. He gave the occasional glance to his book to make sure that the matches would be just right.

_The most important thing to remember is the compatibility of the_ _two pokemon. A special guidebook or an online listing may be used for such a situation._

Brock made his way through the crowd, pointing out potential mates for his pokemon. He pointed out several to his Croagunk.

"Hey, how about that Kadabra?"

"Croagunk…"

"Yea, she seems a little too chubby. How about a nice Infernape?" Brock pointed to the well-groomed pokemon they approached, who had a pink ribbon on her head. Croagunk cocked his head and looked at Brock.

"She's too…odd, isn't she?"

The pokemon breeder walked around the large hall, followed closely by his two pokemon. He continued to point out different pokemon to each of them; while Sudowoodo showed some interest in the females his trainer pointed out, Croagunk remained uninterested. Brock finally settled upon letting the rock-type walk around the convention with an ID card, with the expectation that Sudowoodo would find the right mate.

_If the pokemon you wish to pair off is what could be called responsible, you may let him or her patrol a pokemon breeders' convention alone. Make sure that your pokemon carries identification as to who he or she belongs to._

Brock and Croagunk sat at one of the tables, eating a delicious meal that Brock had prepared prior to attending the convention. A shadow fell upon the table and Brock's food, and the Pewter City native looked up into the face of an angel.

The blonde with a beautiful body introduced herself as Marianne, and she introduced her pokemon as Loli, a Lopunny wearing blue ribbons on her ears.

When Brock's spaz attack wore off (with a well-aimed Poison Jab from Croagunk), he took the opportunity to introduce his own pokemon; he added that his Croagunk was an available partner. The girl praised the way the pokemon had been raised, only to be astounded when both Loli and Croagunk showed no interest in one another. Brock panicked, as he really wanted to keep in touch with this fellow pokemon breeder.

"Well, I suppose that maybe some pokemon have certain tastes in a mate." Marianne remarked, and Brock agreed.

_One of the most important aspects to remember about pokemon breeding is the pokemon's feelings come first. Do not force a pokemon into relations with a pokemon it doesn't like._

"I'm getting really concerned. Croagunk hasn't shown interest in any of the girl pokemon here."

An hour later found Brock and Marianne combing the convention thoroughly, while talking about why Brock's pokemon hadn't found the right girl yet. For what seemed like the fiftieth time that hour, he turned back to look at his stubborn pokemon…only to find him missing.

Before he could panic, Marianne pointed to the left and said, "Isn't that Croagunk over there?"

The ex-Gym Leader focused on his Croagunk hanging on the every word of a buff Machoke; he was left completely speechless. Marianne looked with confusion at Brock.

"But I thought that you said your Croagunk was a boy?"

"I…I thought so too…" Croagunk sat enthralled as _she_ admired the strong pokemon.

_The _most_ important thing to remember about pokemon breeding is to make sure of your pokemon's gender before trying to get the two potential partners together._

* * *

(End)

I'm thinking that the ending wasn't as strong, despite mulling over this chapter for a good couple of months. I'm also wondering if I should up the rating to T. Does anyone have some feedback on these issues?


	15. Part 14: New Pokemon

This idea came from Masta-Kala-Morph, dealing with a new pokemon. No pokemon were harmed in the making of this chapter.

Pokemon belongs to Nintendo, PUSA, and other related companies, etc.

* * *

(Part XIV: New Pokemon)

_Getting a new pokemon has its good points and bad. Whether the pokemon is captured by you, given as a gift, or any other possibilities that exist, it takes some getting used to for both trainer and pokemon. _

Chimchar had never before been inside a house before without being inside a pokeball. His new trainer had already proven that he was no Paul; he showed compassion even in training. Because of the novelty of the situation, Chimchar did act a bit unthinkingly; he jumped directly onto Mrs. Ketchum's new pillows and unfortunately they began to smolder under his fire.

_It is most important to set boundaries when it comes to new pokemon. Don't allow fire-types too close to flammable materials, or electric and water-types too close to electrical appliances. It all depends on the pokemon's type. _

Luckily, both Mrs. Ketchum and Ash entered the room before Chimchar's flaming tushy led to any serious damage. The new pillows were ruined, though.

Delia, though a bit upset about the pillows, assured the shaking pokemon that no major damage was done; she offered to make Ash and his pokemon some lunch to celebrate his homecoming. With a joyous yell, Ash raced his two pokemon to the kitchen.

When the lunches were made, Ash set Pikachu and Chimchar's portions in front of them and dug into his peanut butter, banana, and jelly sandwich. Pikachu popped a pokemon pellet into his mouth and savored the taste. Chimchar dug into his own, but he stopped immediately afterwards as it wasn't to his liking. The fire chimp looked expectantly up at the two humans, who took notice of the fact that the newcomer wasn't eating.

"What's wrong, Chimchar?" Delia asked, bending down to look at the food in the dish. Chimchar grimaced and pointed at the food in his bowl.

_Pokemon might not eat for several reasons, especially if they are new to a person or situation. It might take a bit of guesswork, but eventually the cause should be found in little time._

Completely clueless on what was wrong, Mrs. Ketchum turned to her son; the trainer picked up the bowl and brought it over to the counter.

"Don't worry, Mom. I know what to do."

A few marshmallows were removed from a bag and placed on top of the pellets, then the bowl was set once again in front of the fire pokemon. Chimchar rejoiced by clapping and lit the marshmallows with an Ember attack; once the flames were blown out, Chimchar began to consume the sticky mess.

"Brock and I spoiled him a bit by putting marshmallows on top; he seems to enjoy it more."

_Sometimes the problem is due to the fact that the new pokemon likes a certain food to the point of near obsession. A little appeasement or compromise often tempts the appetite. However, do see a nurse if depression or other related problems accompany the lack of eating. _

After lunch, Chimchar took a short nap out in the garden under the noon sun. Following that, he re-entered the house to further explore the place he would be living while his trainer stayed.

His first place of exploration was the dining room, where the only thing of interest happened to be the white tablecloth that reached to the floor. Chimchar laughed and hid beneath the makeshift tent, not noticing when a few sparks from his tail spread to the cloth he had just scurried under. His giggling caught the attention of a passing Pikachu. The electric rodent peeked in from the side opposite the one Chimchar had entered.

(What are you doing?) Pikachu asked the other pokemon, who turned his attention to the new occupant. The fire monkey laughed again.

(I'm hiding! Isn't this fort neat?)

Pikachu's face took on a look of exasperation; then the yellow pokemon's attention was grabbed by something else entirely. (Well, don't look now but I think your fort is on fire!)

Chimchar looked on in horror as the tablecloth continued to burn as a result of his handiwork. He looked to Pikachu, a veteran of Ash's team and the only one at this point who could have an answer to the flaming issue before them.

(Don't just stand there, cheese it!) Pikachu gestured in another direction, and Chimchar followed soon after. Mr. Mime entered the room just after the other two had left, using his quick thinking and psychic powers to extinguish the flames that were rapidly spreading across the table.

_Letting your new pokemon get to know its other team mates is a key; it makes the newbie more comfortable and also solves later issues dealing with cooperation before they begin. Just try not to leave your pokemon unsupervised for long periods of time._

Pikachu's hideout happened to be beneath Mrs. Ketchum's bed, and he was happy to share it with Chimchar at the moment. When the two pokemon did not hear screams or any other related issues, the fire monkey was unceremoniously booted from the hideout and encouraged to look elsewhere for his own lair. Chimchar sent a final look Pikachu's way before heading out towards the living room. What he found there was a bit overwhelming for his mind.

Mrs. Ketchum wore an exercise outfit, complete with a sweatband and sneakers, as she did her daily workout in front of the TV. Seeing the human pose and jog and even a bit of odd yoga techniques thrown in made Chimchar believe that the kindly woman had been possessed by some strange force. Worst of all was the fact that some shady individual outside did nothing to help the poor woman except hide in the bushes and peer at her through huge binoculars.

_New situations can lead to hasty reactions by the new arrival. Caution is advised when doing something unexpected in the pokemon's eyes, or the consequences could be hard to handle. _

"Honestly Mom, I don't understand why Chimchar would just use a fire attack like that." Ash tried to explain as Professor Oak helped to treat the young woman's first-degree burns. It was lucky that the Professor happened to be taking a walk nearby at the time and had heard the screams.

"I was only exercising when it happened. Maybe I scared him?" Delia commented and looked at the shaking pokemon that looked quite ashamed at his earlier actions. The pokemon nodded his head slowly before he began to bawl.

"There, there," the Professor spoke up, applying the last of the burn salve. "Mrs. Ketchum's exercising program can be a bit hard to handle."

No one seemed to notice the faint blush or the odd look he sent Mrs. Ketchum's way.

_Acclimation can take time. It also requires great patience. Lots and lots of patience..._

_...And maybe some burn salve and other medical supplies._

(End)

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I had a rash of writer's block accompanying a busy schedual and college-related things. I hope this was somewhat amusing.


	16. Part 15: Housetraining

I hope that everyone had a happy and safe holiday season. I would like to take a moment to explain my absence due to a lack of inspiration and tough work related to school. School is where I'll be until summer, so my updates will be few and far between unless inspiration or plot bunnies hit.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon in any way, shape or form.

* * *

(Part XV: Housetraining) Written by Brock Stone.

_Within this world there are many people who choose to live with pokemon in some way: some by battling, some by coordinating, and some by studying them. The vast majority of pokemon can also be found living in homes. And, especially living in the suburbs and urban areas, proper behavior is expected. Though landlords may not discriminate against those with pokemon, they still have the right to kick you out should your pokemon cause problems._

Officer Jenny looked upon the tiny Growlithe puppy that panted and wagged his tail at her feet. She smiled; then she took notice of the large mess that the pup had caused. Garbage was strewn about the hardwood floors and the bin itself was melted beyond repair from the fire pokemon's embers. The police officer had arrived just in time to prevent the small embers from setting the scattered newspapers on fire, but not in time to prevent the setting off of the whole complex's fire sprinklers.

She turned her soaked head and watched as the Growlithe yipped and bounded around the kitchen floors in the sprinkler's spray. He lapped up a puddle of water near her feet, then made another of his own nearby.

That was when the shriek of the fire alarm shocked him into howling along.

_A bored pokemon is a pokemon that causes trouble. Be sure to leave enough toys or other things so that your pokemon stays active enough to stay out of trouble._

"Grow! Grow wow woooow!"

Jenny sighed and sat up in bed, turning to look at the puppy as he barked at the moon outside the window. She heard the neighbors next door threatening her, and the ones above her were banging on the floor. A minute later she received a warning from the curler-sporting landlady.

She invited the puppy to sleep on her bed and closed the curtains, hoping that the little fire dog would let her get some decent sleep that night.

"Owwwwww! Growwww!" Growlithe barked at the sound of a fire truck's whine, then at the sound of somebody's bass-filled rap music, and finally barked at the pounding that resumed on the wall.

"Shut that miserable pup up already!"

_When the problem pokemon is a canine, remember that newspaper is your best friend. When the pokemon is feline, a canister of beads or noisy rattle will do. The treatment depends on the pokemon's species. The trick is not violence and fear, but irritation._

The blue-haired officer looked around the corner, watching the puppy wag his tail and look eagerly up at the brand new garbage pail. She waited until he was about to leap before she jumped out and brandished the rolled-up newspaper.

"No, bad Growlithe!"

She was not expecting the startled fire pokemon to unleash a basic ember attack in defense. He then piddled in fright on the hardwood floor.

_Also, depending on the species, you may want to take precautions against attack. And newspaper is still your best friend._

After three weeks, Officer Jenny had succeeded in curtailing the Growlithe's garbage-diving and nighttime howling with a few regressions here and there. Newspaper had solved that problem, but now the officer had to solve a final problem before her landlady came by for an inspection.

She had to get the Growlithe to use the "wonder paper" instead of going on the floor wherever he pleased.

He no longer piddled in fright; she just had to get him to use the paper in other situations. It took painstaking work, and many rugs were ruined in the process, but the persistant cop finally achieved her goal. Her system of tough love had the canine pokemon going on the paper instead of on the floor, the bed, the couch, and almost any other surface within reach.

It was with great confidence that Officer Jenny opened the door smugly to allow her landlady access to the apartment.

It was with great regret that Officer Jenny realized too late that the puppy pokemon was not trained to heel, and she watched in horror as the tiny puppy tackled the landlady in order to plant slobbery kisses all over her face and nip at her hands.

The cop had thirty days to find other quarters.

_It is very important to test out your training with friends and family who understand before introducing your pokemon to your boss or landlord. Newspaper is your handy, versatile best friend. If worst comes to worst you may also resort to the pokeball, as long as the pokemon can tolerate it. _


End file.
